Dear,

NOTE : THIS COLUMN WILL BE UPDATED WEEKLY

• The Great Writer
  
  There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to
  become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to
  write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to
  on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in
  pain and anger!"
  
  He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

• Top Ten Signs You Are An Internet Geek

  10. When filling out your driver`s license application you give your
      IP address.
  
  9. You no longer ask prospective dates what their sign is, instead
     your line is "Hi, what`s your URL?"
  
  8. Instead of calling you to dinner, your spouse sends email.
  
  7. You`re amazed to find out spam is a food.
  
  6. You "ping" people to see if they`re awake, "finger" them to find out
     how they are, and "AYT" them to make sure they`re listening to you.
  
  5. You search the Net endlessly hoping to win every silly free T-shirt
     contest.
  
  4. You introduce your wife as "my lady@home.wife" and refer to your
     children as "client applications".
  
  3. At social functions you introduce your husband as "my domain server".
  
  2. After winning the office super bowl pool you blurt out, "I feel so
     "colon-right parentheses!"
  
  ...And the number one sign you are an Internet Geek:
  
  1. Two Words: "Pizza`s Here!".

• Confusing Website Names

  www.BLOCKBUSTER.com - sells used letterheads at a discount.
  
  www.Digital/Disability.org - manufactures electric woks.
  
  www.LifeTimeFuture.net - distributes glow-in-the-dark condoms.
  
  www.DeutscheBankBallons.com - sells Iranian postage stamps by mail.
  
  www.KKK.Hitler.net - publishes books about anti-inflammatory herbs.
  
  www.FreeMoneyWeb.com - leading biotech vitamin A research center.
  
  www.AmericanNationalSecurity.org - a night club in Havana, Cuba.
  
  www.ABSOLUT.com - paints white stripes on candy canes.
  
  www.BookSpam.gov - sells Free trips to Des Moines, Iowa.
  
  www.PlanMedico/International.com - restores antique automobiles.
  
  www.Salomom/Smith/Barney.net - leading wholesaler of paper plates.
  
  www.Passover-Seals-Society.org - rest home for 'Energizer' bunnies.
  
  www.AT&T.com - religious cult founded on worship of 'Teletubbies'.
  
  www.NewOrleansMuseumofSex.org - distributes Salvation Army clothing.
  
  www.TheObsceneTraveler.net - operates K-Mart stores in Wyoming.
  
  www.S.O.S.gov - dealers in gold, platinum, and photo finishing.
  
  www.NewJerseyStatePrison.org - subsidiary of Cable & Wireless, Inc.
  
  www.Via/Rail/Canada.gov - school for left handed paralegals.
  
  www.SMUCKERS.org - a Gay Rights organization in New Zealand.
  
  www.ARTnewsForum.com - a Pet Cemetery national owners association.
  
  www.Crime-Pays-BigTime.org - a classical music choral group in Zaire.
  
  www.Open/Your/Heart.net - manufactures electrical switchboxes.
  
  www.HappyChanukah.org - birth control clinic in South Carolina.
  
  www.Dr.SeussHomeDecorating.com - leading apple cider producer.
  
  www.TomClancyFanClub.org - sailing yacht sauna outfitters.
  
  www.AmericanExpress/NASCAR - Bill Gates charity for North Korea.
  
  www.MontecristoMercedesRolex.net - homeless shelter in Westport,CT.
  
  www.TheNetworkWebsite.net - legal aid service for Discount Brokers.
  
  www.MicrosoftPencils.com - designs refrigerator note holder magnets.
  
  www.Marital/Party/Games.org - a Mutual Savings Bank in Reno, NV.
  
  www.MigratoryCompuwareFedEx.com - a golfing community developer.
  
  www.SalvatoreFerragamo.com - ships 'Baked Alaska' cookies to Peru.
  
  www.JOCKS.org - bottles glass-blown plastic party favors.